The trouble with modern poetry

I'm a writer. I love writing, I love words, I love massaging them and manipulating them and creating my stories. But there's something that I have to confess: I can't stand poetry, modern poetry in particular.

Why, you ask, would a writer say that? Isn't self-expression the point of writing and isn't poetry the perfect vehicle for that self-expression? Yes to the first part, and a big 'HELL NO' to the second.

Here's the problem, as I see it. Ever since the days of Byron and Shelley, the function of poetry has changed. It is no longer used as a narrative form. There is nobody like, say Milton or Dante, who use poetry to tell a story. As good as Byron and Shelley are, they are the men who changed poetry from a narrative medium to a medium that seems entirely concerned with the emotional state of the writer. And that, frankly, is boring.

I don't want to read poetry that's just an excuse for someone to sit there and gaze at their navel. I don't want to read poetry that is only about the writer's need for love or approval or spiritual growth. I can get that stuff from reading Dear Abby. If you want to be a poet, please disavow yourself of the notion that poets MUST be the sensitive, introspective artiste type that must always wear black and stare oh so sensitively out at the waves of the ocean. There's way too damn many of those types and most of their stuff stinks.

I don't want to know about your romantic woes. Please use your imaginations and use poetry to tell a story!